


Allow

by ssoukokuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26101261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssoukokuu/pseuds/ssoukokuu
Summary: What's more selfish between accepting love from someone who knows your heart is with someone else or forcing your love onto someone who's in love with another?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Miya Atsumu
Kudos: 5





	Allow

"Tsumu, we need to talk" Hinata say as he fidgets with his fingers. It was barely a whisper but Atsumu heard him, he glances over the orange haired man but quickly turns his attention to the pile of dishes on the kitchen sink.

"Wait, let me finish the dishes first, okay?" he says softly without turning his attention away from the messy sink. 

Hinata feels troubled, with nervous energy radiating off of him, Atsumu couldn't help but spare him a look. He worries about what Hinata has to say, more than worried, he's kind of scared. He shakes his head lightly, trying to get the haunting thoughts out of his head.

"Atsumu." 

He turns to Hinata and sees how uncomfortable he is. Atsumu sighs and wipes his hand dry "Okay, let's talk."

"What's wrong, Sho?" 

Hinata found it hard to respond to his question since he himself doesn't know what exactly is wrong. It's just that something feels wrong and he doesn't want to feel it anymore. Atsumu looks at him, full of curiosity yet nervous at the same time. His eyes pleading Hinata to talk. He wants to talk, he wants to say what's on his mind but it feels as if something was caught in his throat, no words would come out.

"Shoyo, you can tell me anything, you know that right? We've been together for years and I bet you already know that no matter what you say I'll be with you all the way. I got you, okay?" Atsumu reassures him as he gently grasps Hinata's hand and rubs his thumbs over them as a way to ease the the tension and comfort him. 

Hinata takes a deep breath and slowly looks at Atsumu "I can't do this anymore."

Silence takes over the room, both of them unsure of what to say next, as if they're walking on eggshells.

"You still love him, am I right?" Atsumu asks with a small smile on his face, but deep inside, it hurt. It pained him to ask, even though he already knows the answer. Of coure, Hinata isn't oblivious that his boyfriend is hurting right now. He knows that Atsumu is aware of his feelings. It irritates him that Atsumu knows him so much, knows about his selfishness and greed, yet he still dares to smile. He keeps silent though, somehow, he feels angry at himself for being pathetic and he also feels very apologetic to the smiling man in front of him.

"I'm sorry, that was dumb of me to ask that," Atsumu whispers "it's okay. I know. You don't have to hide anything from me." he grins. "I'm here though, Sho. You know I'm here for you, right?"

Hinata loses the internal battle of fighting back his tears and just let them fall. Atsumu smiling for the second time as he declares that Hinata's selfishness was okay broke down the wall Hinata was pathetically building up. Once Atsumu sees his tears he became even more worried.

"My Sho is crying, awww" Atsumu coos, trying to lighten up the mood "how cute. But that's alright, just cry it out. I heard it makes you feel better" he chuckles.

Without any words to say, Atsumu pulls him in for a hug. Hinata tries to pull back but Atsumu refuses to let him go and hugs him even tighter. As Hinata stops struggling, Atsumu lets out a sigh and lets him go. He smiles once more as he stares into his boyfriend's teary eyes.

"Sho, Tobio would kill me if he sees you like this. I wouldn't be able to face him in the afterlife if this goes on, you know?" he laughs. "Tobio would want you to be happy, I want that too. It's only one of the few things that we actually share the same opinion on. I want to make you happy. I can make you happy, Shoyo."

"It's Kageyama." hinata whispers.

 _*crack*_ Atsumu's heart breaks a little

"I don't know why but it's always him."

_*crack*_

"Why is it still him, Atsumu?"

_*crack*_

"Tobio. It's still Tobio, Atsumu. Even though I know he's gone, it's still him" Hinata sobs.

_*crack*_

"I'm so unfair to you. This is so unfair, Atsumu."

Atsumu does think that it's unfair. Of course it was. Here he is pouring down all his love for this man while he cries over his first love. But of course, he doesn't really care. 

"No, you're not," he gently squeezes Hinata's hands "you know I don't mind. If it's you, I don't mind."

Hinata stays quiet. He genuinely doesn't know how to respond. 

Atsumu sighs and lets go of his hand "I won't lie to you, Shoyo, this really hurts." Hinata immediately looks at Atsumu's face and sees tears brimming his eyes "But it's okay. As long as you're here, I'm okay" Atsumu smiles once again.

_Liar, you're a liar. Of course you're not okay, Atsumu. You're not alright so why are you smiling? How can you smile when your heart is breaking?_

"I knew from the start that I'm no match for Tobio, but I didn't care back then. I still don't."

"Tsumu-"

"Shoyo, what I'm about to say hurts me. It hurts me but I'm still going to say it."

Hinata looks at Atsumu, waiting for him to finish whatever he has to say. 

"Pretend I'm him."

Hinata looks at him, obviously dumbfounded. 

"If it hurts so much that he's gone, just pretend I'm him. Pretend I'm him and let me love you, please?"

"Shoyo, please? Let me make you happy."

All of this just makes Hinata feel like a jerk. He stares at Atsumu with wide eyes.

"This isn't right, this is unfair, pl-"

"How many times do I have to say it before you understand?" Atsumu smiles sweetly at Hinata even with tears dripping from his eyes "I love you, I know I can take care of you and make you happy. All you have to do is let me."

With disbelief and selfishness running through his mind Hinata whispers a single word.

"Okay."


End file.
